Tips for teaching and Nurturing Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence is something we'll be discussing in our Intellidance® Babies class this week but can be a beneficial discussion for ALL parents so I wanted to share this out! The below piece is written by early childhood expert and founder of Intellidance®, Jessica Baudin-Griffin
"Emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups. It has been greatly debated if and how emotional intelligence can be measured like IQ, however it is generally agreed upon that people with greater EI, emotional intelligence are more successful. As parents we can support our children’s future potential by developing their emotional intelligence.
Like IQ, some children are born with greater natural emotional intelligence than others. Some children are just more naturally in tune with their own feelings and those around them. These children generally are more incline to perceive, reason and understand their own feelings and those around them. This can make it easier for them to successfully manage their own emotions and respond the to emotional needs of others.
Label emotions. From the time your child is a baby talk to them about their feelings and label these emotions. For example, if your baby wakes from a nap cooing happily you may simple observe, “I can see you are happy. You must feel rested after your nap.” By perceiving and labeling emotions from a young age your child will be more comfortable expressing himself/herself as her language skills develop.
Be attentive. Respond to your child’s emotional needs quickly and consistently to help them develop secure attachment. Research has shown that responsive parenting is associated with social competence and fewer behavioral problems at three years and higher self-esteem, and fewer behavioral and emotional problems at age 12 (World Health Organization 2006).
Model solutions. Show your child how you respond to your own, and/or others, emotional needs. For example if you are feeling frustrated with a household project, rather then venting your frustrations through yelling, you may explain to your child, “I am feeling very frustrated right now. I am going to take a break so I can calm down.”
Validate your child’s emotions. As parents we often know the socially acceptable response in situations our children find challenging and it is easy to want to rush our children to the desired outcome. Remember, emotional management is a learning process. For example, if your child is mad at a younger sibling for breaking beloved toy and says “I hate Sally”, it is easy to want to interject with “No you don’t,. That’s not nice”. Instead validate what your child is feeling “ I am sure this makes you very mad.” Then discuss different solutions to the problem. By validating what your child is experiencing you are helping them understand emotions are normal and natural and that solutions are found by regulating their reactions and responding appropriately."
